Online rules


💕 Be considerate

You can join late or leave early. Do it elegantly: join on mute and post a kind message on the group chat on arrival or before leaving, we are friends.

✋ DM mood & self-id

We use the name field in Zoom to share how we feel right now about DM (direct messaging), our first name, and pronouns, eg: 💖 Sophie (she/they).

🟣 or any circle means"Yes to DM about a thing I said."

💖 or any heart means"Yes to DM."

❌ or any cross means"No DM."

🖥 1 screen, 3 members max

If you attend with other members, make sure that everyone RSVPed, that you are no more than 3 behind the same screen when your camera is on and that others can clearly see who is talking.

🛎 Check-in

Beautiful silences are great. Checking in with each other is nice too! Don't wait for the host to arrive to start chatting with one another. Talking about the weather is allowed.

🧊 Icebreaker

The host can choose to start the event with a Rose, Thorn & Bud icebreaker as follows. There is no obligation to take part!

"Reflect on your rose, thorn, and bud. Share them if you want! 🌹 = A highlight, success, small win, or something positive. 🗡 = A challenge or something you can use more support with. 🌱 = New ideas or something you are looking forward to."

👀 Jumping in

Enjoy a few seconds of the beautiful silence and speak. Someone is speaking? Raise your hand virtually. Invite others to speak too.

🧘‍♂️ Preserve a quiet atmosphere

If you're dealing with background noises you cannot control, let the audience know about it if relevant and mute your mic when you're not talking.

🌱 Mind the conversation

Listen like it's your first date, don't judge or shame, show gratitude, mind your non verbal communication, keep an eye on your airtime, give the floor to someone shy/hesitant to speak, be kind to each other.

⭐️ Quotes

Members' quotes! When we catch those nuggets of wisdom, we jot them down in the chat with the member's name and #quote.

📚 Resources

When we think about a valuable resource, we share some info about it and #resource in the chat.

💕 Care

Members-only! For your privacy, online events are password protected. At any time, you can direct message the Team if you experience technical issues or if you wish to speak up about someone breaching our etiquette and/or crossing your boundaries. We reserve the right to revoke anyone's access to the event if we feel it's for the best of the group.


How do I update my name field?

In Zoom, place your cursor on your video, click on the 3 dots in the top right corner and click on "rename".

I'm curious but not sure to join for some reason. Can I still join?

Yes, please! Curiosity is enough reason to join any conversation at campfire unless the space is explicitly exclusive and you don't belong to the audience described. Also, don't hold back from joining because you just want to listen and learn!

I've seen this member, how can I connect if I cannot DM them? 

Find an event you think they'd like to attend, invite them to join with you by posting a nice comment in the event thread. Something like: "Hey Sophie Mona (she/they), I thought you'd like to join this!"

I've seen this member was OK to DM but I didn't have time.

You can DM them after the event. Write a nice message saying why you DM them and where you met them.

What happens to the members' quotes nominated?

We collect them to share on the campfire app as well as our social media and other content. Don't worry and speak freely as we will always ask for consent before sharing anything.

What happens to the resources we share?

We're constantly updating a resource center where you can find recommendations for books, films, podcasts, and more. Bear with us though as this is a lot of work.

I really want to attend but I cannot! What can I do?

You can kindly ask the host if they'd like to do it again (why not co-hosting?) or host a similar event.

This is a living document subject to refinement and expansion in the future. Direct message us if you would like to help us improve it.

Update June 30, 2021 - updated following introduction of the question box.