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Community Guidelines

Last updated August 23, 2021

LVRSNFRNDS is not your usual friendship app. It is intentionally designed to be safe and foster authentic connection.

We are on a mission to transform the experience of questioning and exploring identity and relationships from a lonely one into one imbued by community support, personal development, and constructive social impact, one conversation at a time.

We've written these guidelines with our members to describe what we welcome and where we place our boundaries, for now.

✊ What we stand for

We are curious. We are loving. We are unconventional. And this is how we aspire to live curiously ever after...

πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ We are diverse & inclusively exclusive

We are a diverse crowd from all walks of life with varied views and opinions.

We see diversity as a strength, inclusion as the way to go, and exclusivity as a necessary evil. We vet new members to protect diversity and encourage genuine and judgement-free discussions.

We're actively inclusive in our communication and challenge all forms of offensive or unwelcome comments and behaviors.

We navigate disagreements and differences being kind and respectful.

πŸ’— We relate organically

We are sex-positive but not sex-focused. We connect people who get what's behind this key distinction.

We seek organic connections that spark from conversation-focused group experiences where we're kind to each other and observe a friendship first approach, curious and loving with all.

πŸ‘ We think consent is tricky but sexy

We agree that consent can be tricky, but especially sexy so we keep it in check so that all of us hold the power over our own accessibility and nurture meaningful and comfortable interactions.

As members of the community, weΒ technicallyΒ have access to direct message (DM) every member. We do not DM other members without their consent and/or meaninglessly.

We use emojis on our profiles and during live conversations to reveal how we feel about receiving a DM.

πŸ’– or any heart means "Yes to DM."

🟣 or any circle means "Yes to DM about something I've discussed."

❌ or any cross means "No to DM."

We value consent-based interactions at all levels. We follow an "ask first" basis not only when direct messaging but also when sharing images of ourselves or other people, reaching out on social media, etc.

πŸ‘‹ We strive for authenticity

We're not afraid to put ourselves out there by authentically representing who we are.

We take an active part in co-creating and cultivating a trust-based environment that we all cherish and want to see flourish. To help achieve that, our profiles have:

  • our face pic as profile picture,
  • our first name in the First Name field,
  • our pronouns and a mention of our DM emoji in the Last Name field.

Our names look like this: "Murphy (he/they) 🟣".

πŸ’§ We welcome fluidity

We understand that identity, needs and wants are fluid, complex, and always evolving.

We strive to make no assumptions as to other members and acknowledge that we all have full agency and autonomy over ourselves, our bodies and boundaries and no one is to threaten or take that from another.

✨ We share because we care

We hold a space where we seek to learn from each other and grow together. We want to be the place one can have conversations they could not have elsewhere.

We are committed to contributing constructively because the more we do, the more all of us get out of LVRSNFRNDS.

We know how it feels to be a bit hesitant to share and want all of us to feel comfortable sharing generously. We listen and read attentively, don't judge or shame, show empathy, gratitude, push each other forward, and lift each other up.

We are well aware that our questions, stories, and experiences may be exactly what another member needs to hear.

πŸ’¬ We believe that language matters

We acknowledge that words hold power and we strive to be mindful of how we use that power in our interactions.

We recognize that misunderstandings happen and hold the space for each of us to make it known if they've been hurt or offended by someone else's words.

πŸ› We embrace weirdness

We are here to grow together and at our own individual pace, embracing who we are, quirks and all.

We leave no space for judgment, we approach difference as a practice for communication and want all of us to be comfortable to be our authentic selves.

We celebrate each other, we encourage each other to embrace their weirdness and we nurture a positive space where humour and gentleness are the best lubricants to rich and beautiful conversations where being vulnerable makes us stronger. We like it weird so much that we even have this weird sign below* to show excitement, agreement, encouragement.

image

*Caution: you may feel like doing it during work meetings and family reunions too. And it's OK! We also use the classic heart-shaped hand sign to show support.

🀫 We respect privacy

We do speak about LVRSNFRNDS to non-members, from our own experience.

Our membership is private and Chatham House rules apply: "participants are free to use the information received, but neither the identity nor the affiliation of the speaker(s)/author(s), nor that of any other participant, may be revealed".

We don't give access to our private content or events to non-members unless we're explicitly encouraged to.

πŸ“£ We own this

We are not products, LVRSNFRNDS is not in the business of eyeballs.

We take ownership of how we treat and care for everyone and everything LVRSNFRNDS.

We are determined to break out from toxic cultures and have a zero-tolerance policy for any comment or behaviour that is disrespectful, discriminatory, threatening or harassing.

We strive to speak up when necessary and listen with a growth mindset when being called in.

The LVRSNFRNDS team always prioritizes people safety over all else. We are working relentlessly to hold a welcoming, safe space that allows stress-free enriching conversations. For this to happen, we need members and visitors to also take it upon themselves to speak up about anything they find uncomfortable, harmful, or threatening to the safety of the community. If anything happens that leaves you feeling uncomfortable, uneasy, or distressed β€” no matter how minor you perceive it to be, please speak up. Read below for more details.

πŸ™… Where we draw the line

As different acts of transgression demand different outcomes and levels of accountability. We set in place two different levels of transgressions ordered in an ascending scale according to their severity and how much tolerance we can afford to it happening within our community.

Level 1 transgressions

  • Making one-time comments during live conversations, in DMs, or on the feed that can be perceived as uncomfortable to other people (e.g. statements that are considered racist, sexism, ageist, homophobic, etc.).
  • Sending an unsolicited direct message that doesn't include any explicit or suggestive content and doesn't causes the recipient distress or discomfort.
  • Advertising personal business, other products and services, or promo-codes that haven't been approved by the team.
  • Sharing false information, without an intention to incite hate on individuals or groups.
  • Contacting members and visitors for commercial purposes without their consent.
  • Unintentionally violating intellectual property.

Level 2 transgressions

Hateful and discriminatory behaviour

This includes engaging in, promoting, or expressing hateful or discriminatory behaviour that attacks, threatens, stigmatizes, dehumanizes, or incites hate against an individual or a group based on their:

  • Ethnicity.
  • Gender expression.
  • Gender identity.
  • Sexuality.
  • Religion.
  • Mental or physical Disability.
  • Immigration status.
  • Body type.
  • Physical appearance.
  • Neuro(a)typicality.
  • Lifestyle choices and practices, including those related food, health, parenting, drugs, and employment.
Harassment or bullying

This includes:

  • Sharing statements that mock, humiliate, embarrass, intimidate, or hurt a fellow member both privately and publicly.
  • Attempting to contact a member after consent has been withdrawn or explicit refusal has been expressed.
  • Cyberstalking members on social media and contacting them without asking for consent.
  • Threatening to dox another member and/or non-consensually sharing their information publicly.
  • Spam messaging members.
Sexual harassment

This consists of unwanted or inappropriate sexual behavior directed at another individual, including comments or advances, that sexually harasses others, regardless of intentions, and includes:

  • Making sexual advances towards a member who has not given explicit consent to engage.
  • Sending unsolicited direct messages including explicit or suggestive content or that causes discomfort to the recipient.
  • Attempting to coerce a member into indulging in sexual activities.
  • Sexualizing fellow members without their consent.
  • Making comments that disparages another member's sexuality.
  • Revealing, or threatening to reveal, a person's private sexual life beyond what they agreed to.
  • Sharing nude images of other individuals without their consent.
  • Exposing, or threatening to expose, a person's sexual orientation without their consent or knowledge.
Reported abusive behavior

In the case of a member getting reported on alleged or confirmed abusive behavior against individuals inside of outside the community, we reserve the right to suspend temporarily or permanently their membership.

πŸ“’ How we keep LVRSNFRNDS safe

Here are a few steps to take if you ever feel unsafe or uncomfortable on LVRSNFRNDS.

Remember one important thing

We know how hard it is to speak up and we thank you for doing so. Whatever you are contacting us about, you are doing an act of care towards our community and we thank you. There are no light transgression, your speaking up may reveal a pattern of abuse.

Contact the LVRSNFRNDS team

You can report any conduct that does not align with our Community Guidelines or that you think should not happen at LVRSNFRNDS (always happy to update this document) to the LVRSNFRNDS team with this form.

Step 1/ You will be asked whether you want your report to the team to be anonymous or not. If you choose to keep your identity known, you will be asked to provide your name and email.

β†’ In the second option, your identity will still be kept secret to the person you're speaking up about.

Step 2/ You will be asked how you want the team to deal with the report, there are three options:

  • I want you to know that this happened for the record.
  • I want the person to know that this is not OK.
  • I want the team to discuss revoking this person's membership or access.

Step 3/ You will be asked to provide the details of the action(s) perceived to infringe upon our Community Guidelines (with examples if existing) and, if they're a member, their profile link.

The LVRSNFRNDS team acknowledges and reviews your report to categorize it. The way it is being dealt with depends on the level of the transgression.

In the case of a level 1 transgression

Based on how you want the team to deal with the situation and the history of the person you're reporting, the LVRSNFRNDS team can:

  • retain the information,
  • contact the person whose behaviour has been reported with a warning,
  • revoke the membership or access of the person whose behaviour has been reported if they have already been reported for a level 1 transgression of any category.

In the case of a level 2 transgression

We are determined to break out from toxic cultures and have a zero-tolerance policy for any of the actions stated above. The person whose behaviour has been reported may be contacted about their membership or access being immediately revoked. The person who reported retains the right to remain anonymous. If dissatisfied with the decision to suspend the membership or access, an appeal can be made and a committee of independent members will be formed to deal with it at a collective level.

If your behaviour has been reported

  • Your membership or access may be suspended while we contact you to resolve the situation with or without notice.
  • Suspension may limit your ability to access LVRSNFRNDS.
  • Suspension may be either temporary or indefinite.

This is a living document subject to refinement and expansion in the future. Direct message us or email imane@lvrsnfrnds.com if you would like to help us improve it.